🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #60
I (the first wife) want to contact my husband's prospective second wife. Should I, and what should I say?
You may, if the aim is to share true information calmly, not to threaten or shame; prepare yourself and consider a mediator.
Allah tells believers to speak truthfully and justly even against themselves (an-Nisa' 4:135), and forbids insulting and mocking (al-Hujurat 49:11). There are situations where a prospective second wife does not know the real situation — for example the husband does not provide enough maintenance, has large debts, or has not applied for the court's permission. Sharing those facts can prevent injustice to everyone. But avoid shaming your husband excessively or attacking the woman personally; she may also have been deceived. Remember that in a polygamy application, the existing wife may be heard by the court — the formal channel for raising objections. See the question on objecting in court.
Allah tells believers to speak truthfully and justly even against themselves (an-Nisa' 4:135), and forbids insulting and mocking (al-Hujurat 49:11). There are situations where a prospective second wife does not know the real situation — for example the husband does not provide enough maintenance, has large debts, or has not applied for the court's permission. Sharing those facts can prevent injustice to everyone. But avoid shaming your husband excessively or attacking the woman personally; she may also have been deceived. Remember that in a polygamy application, the existing wife may be heard by the court — the formal channel for raising objections. See the question on objecting in court.
Sources
Surah an-Nisa' 4:135Surah al-Hujurat 49:11Surah al-Hujurat 49:6