🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #61
I have found out my husband is secretly getting to know another woman for marriage (taʿaruf). What should I do?
Calm yourself first, gather the facts, then speak to your husband honestly; getting to know someone in order to marry again is not forbidden, but hiding it and communicating without limits damages trust.
Allah tells us to verify news before acting (al-Hujurat 49:6). A man in Malaysia who wishes to take another wife must apply for the court's permission, and the existing wife may be heard (Act 303 s.23). A taʿaruf involving affectionate late-night messages, meeting alone or hidden promises has already crossed the line and resembles emotional infidelity. When you speak to him: say what you know, ask his real intentions, and discuss the effect on you and the children. Get a counsellor if the conversation is difficult. You are entitled to honesty and to weigh your own options. See the question on a husband telling his wife he wants another marriage.
Allah tells us to verify news before acting (al-Hujurat 49:6). A man in Malaysia who wishes to take another wife must apply for the court's permission, and the existing wife may be heard (Act 303 s.23). A taʿaruf involving affectionate late-night messages, meeting alone or hidden promises has already crossed the line and resembles emotional infidelity. When you speak to him: say what you know, ask his real intentions, and discuss the effect on you and the children. Get a counsellor if the conversation is difficult. You are entitled to honesty and to weigh your own options. See the question on a husband telling his wife he wants another marriage.