My family and my husband's family in a neighbouring country raise children in very different ways. Whose way should we follow?

Follow the way the two of you decide together, guided by the Shariah, not entirely the way of either family. Every culture has its strengths: perhaps one side is strict about manners towards elders, while the other is warmer and more open with children. Sit together and list the values that matter most, such as prayer, honesty and respect, then choose practices from both families that support those values. The Qur'an mentions decisions about children being made “by mutual consent and consultation between the two” (Surah al-Baqarah 2:233). When grandparents comment, answer respectfully: ‘Thank you for the advice; we have agreed on this way.’ Do not quarrel about upbringing in front of the children. See educating the family.