The Qur'an tells us to live with our spouse with kindness (makruf). What does that mean in daily life?

Living with kindness means treating your spouse in a way that is good, fitting and pleasant according to praiseworthy custom. Allah says: “live with them on a footing of kindness and equity” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:19). In daily practice, it means gentle speech, a pleasant face, fulfilling rights, and avoiding words or actions that hurt. It also means tolerating small weaknesses and not demanding perfection. Ask yourself before acting: is the way I am doing this kind, or does it make things hard? Honouring your spouse is not a condition you demand of them first, but your own responsibility. Start improving one everyday way of treating them today. See rights of husband and wife.

Sources

Surah an-Nisa' 4:19

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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