💍 Khitbah & engagement · #99

We agreed not to have any hantaran money, but relatives are gossiping. How do we deal with it?

Your decision is valid and good; your task is only to explain it calmly, not to win an argument. Hantaran is a custom, and making marriage easy is praiseworthy. Prepare one short answer that is the same for everyone, for example: ‘Both families have agreed. We want to start our life without debt.’ Ask your parents to support this decision openly, because relatives listen more to them. Do not reply to snide remarks on social media. Over time, a peaceful household will be the most convincing answer. See a celebration within your means.

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Related questions

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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