🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #117

Our fights often start from misunderstood text messages. How do we avoid this?

Text messages strip out tone of voice and facial expression, so they are easily misread as cold or angry. Heavy issues should not be discussed by text, because every short message can be read in the worst possible tone. Keep messages for brief matters, and put off sensitive discussions until you can talk or meet. If a message feels hurtful, hold back from replying at once; ask first, ‘I just want to make sure what you meant by that message...’ Avoid sending long messages when angry, because they remain as painful evidence. Hear your spouse's voice before drawing conclusions. See communication & emotions.

← PreviousEvery time we argue, we end up dragging up all our old mistakes. How do we stop?Next →I want to settle things straight away, but my spouse wants to withdraw first. How do we meet in the middle?

Related questions

My husband works far away and our fights often happen over the phone. How do we manage this?Distance makes communication harder, so it needs to be more deliberate, not left to rushed calls when you are…After a big fight, we have been cold and awkward with each other for a week. How do we break the ice?Someone needs to take the first step to melt the ice, and that is a sign of strength, not defeat. There is no need to wai…Money is the main cause of our arguments. How can we deal with it together?Money is rarely the real cause of a fight; usually it is about feeling secure, in control and appreciated. Set a …We often fight about housework. How do we stop the cycle?Stop the housework fights by changing the question from ‘who is lazy’ to ‘how do we share fairly’. Sit down tog…We are from different ethnic groups or states, and family customs often clash. How can we manage this?Separate religion from custom: religious matters are held in common, while customs are negotiated with respect for bot…Our sexual desires are very different and it has become a cause of quarrels. How can we resolve it?Talk openly without blame, look for a meeting point, and check for physical or emotional causes; intimacy is the…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer