My husband remembers his first wife's important days but forgets mine. How do I raise this?

Being forgotten naturally hurts, but present it as a need to be remembered, not as proof that he doesn't love you. Many men really are bad at remembering dates, and it is not necessarily a sign of favouritism. Tell your husband calmly that certain days mean a lot to you, and say so clearly without sarcasm. You can help him by reminding him in advance; that is not begging, it is making things easier. Avoid comparing yourself with the first wife, because that turns the conversation into a quarrel. Focus on what you want, which is to be remembered and appreciated. If the forgetting is part of a wider pattern of neglect, that is a bigger conversation to have. See communication & emotions.