When I am angry I tend to label my spouse as ‘always like that’. Does that make things worse?

The words 'always' and 'never' turn one complaint into a verdict on your spouse's whole character. They are rarely true, and they invite your spouse to argue back by finding one example that proves you wrong, so the real issue is lost. Replace them with the specific thing that happened: ‘The dishes weren't washed tonight’, not ‘you're just lazy!’. Talk about a particular action, not a label on their character. This makes it easier for your spouse to fix that thing without feeling attacked. Accurate words solve problems; extreme words create new ones. See communication & emotions.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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