🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #72

I have just married and worry I cannot be a good wife or husband. What can I do?

This worry shows you care, and a good intention with continuous effort is already enough before Allah. No spouse is perfect; what is asked is to learn, improve yourself and do good, not to be flawless. Allah does not burden a soul “beyond what it can bear” (Surah al-Baqarah 2:286). Learn your rights and responsibilities as a husband or wife little by little, and apologise quickly when you get it wrong. Ask your spouse honestly what they need. Take one day at a time. A good marriage is built by two people who keep trying, not two perfect people. See husbands' course.

Sources

Surah al-Baqarah 2:286

← PreviousEvery time I reflect on myself, the urge to practise polygyny disappears. What does that mean?Next →Which life values are most important to align with a future spouse before marriage?

Related questions

I know I am quick to anger. How do I improve before I marry?This awareness is already a valuable first step; use it to build new habits before there is a spouse who bears th…I grew up with a very harsh father. How do I make sure I do not repeat the same pattern in my own home?Family patterns can be broken, and your awareness now is the most important beginning. We tend to repeat what we ar…I worry that my future spouse is involved in a deviant group or teaching. How can I make sure?Check carefully before the contract, because a teaching that deviates in belief can harm the household and, in ser…My wife has died. When may I marry again, and what about my children's feelings?A man has no waiting period; he may marry at any time after his wife’s death. But the right time depends on your and yo…My future husband/wife does not pray. Should I marry them?Abandoning prayer is a major sin; it is better not to proceed with the marriage until they have truly changed, because reli…I want to marry but cannot afford it yet. What should I do?If you are not yet able, Islam tells you to preserve your chastity, fast, and strive to improve your means until …

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer