⚖️ Polygyny: rulings & justice · #133

Should I tell my wife before filing the application, or let her find out through the court notice?

Tell your wife yourself before filing; do not let a court notice be the way she finds out. Hearing news this big from an official letter feels like betrayal, and that wound is hard to heal later. A decision that affects the whole family should be discussed, and Allah praises believers whose “affairs are decided by mutual consultation among them” (Surah asy-Syura 42:38). Choose a calm time, without the children listening. Say clearly what you are planning, then give her room to ask, to be angry or to stay silent. Do not demand an answer that same night. If the conversation reaches a dead end, invite her to see a counsellor together. See how to tell your wife.

Sources

Surah asy-Syura 42:38

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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