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🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #106

My future husband wants only the akad with no feast, but I want a small reception. How do we find a middle way?

The walimah is a recommended sunnah, and it need not be big; a small feast can satisfy both your wishes. First ask why he does not want a feast. The reason may be cost, discomfort at being the centre of attention, or not wanting to go into debt. If the problem is money, suggest a simple meal for close family and neighbours. If he is shy of the attention, choose a reception without a dais (pelamin) and long programmes. Explain your feelings too: ‘I want our families to share our happiness and pray for us.’ This small agreement is early practice in negotiating as husband and wife. See the ruling on walimah.
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Related questions

Our akad is small and limited. How do I turn away relatives who want to come without hurting them?Explain the limit early and equally to everyone, so no one thinks they alone were not invited. Use a true an…I am a convert (mualaf). How do I involve my non-Muslim parents in my akad?Invite them with full respect and explain what will happen, because they are still your parents. Many non-Muslim parents fe…My parents are divorced and not on speaking terms. How do I arrange the akad day without tension?Plan with each parent separately before the day, so no one is surprised or feels sidelined. If your fathe…My future spouse has been divorced before. How do I prepare to start in a healthy way?Start by understanding that a past divorce is not necessarily a disgrace, and focus on who they are now and wha…The family wants a big reception but we cannot afford it. How do we avoid going into debt to marry?A blessed marriage begins with moderation, not with debt that weighs down the first years of married life. …I am a husband-to-be and very worried about my ability early in the marriage. Is this feeling normal?Yes, this worry is very common, and it usually eases once you understand that intimacy is built gradually. …
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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