🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #49
My husband threatens to marry another woman every time we quarrel. How should I deal with this?
Threats like these do not solve problems; they hurt and create insecurity. Calmly explain their effect and ask for the real issue to be discussed.
Allah commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness (an-Nisa' 4:19), and polygamy is a great trust conditional on justice (an-Nisa' 4:3), not a weapon in a quarrel. In Malaysia a husband who wishes to marry again must obtain the Syariah Court's permission, and the existing wife may be heard. A helpful response: "When you say that, I feel unvalued. What is it you are really unhappy about?" If there are unresolved issues such as intimacy or communication, discuss them with a counsellor. If the threats come with constant humiliation, they may amount to emotional abuse. See The existing wife.
Allah commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness (an-Nisa' 4:19), and polygamy is a great trust conditional on justice (an-Nisa' 4:3), not a weapon in a quarrel. In Malaysia a husband who wishes to marry again must obtain the Syariah Court's permission, and the existing wife may be heard. A helpful response: "When you say that, I feel unvalued. What is it you are really unhappy about?" If there are unresolved issues such as intimacy or communication, discuss them with a counsellor. If the threats come with constant humiliation, they may amount to emotional abuse. See The existing wife.