🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #35
A wife sulks and goes back to her parents' home without permission. Is she guilty of nushuz (marital defiance)?
Not necessarily — it depends on the reason and the duration; leaving out of fear, because of mistreatment or because no maintenance was given is not nushūz.
From the standpoint of fiqh, a wife who leaves the home without permission and without a valid Shariah reason may be counted as nushūz. But before applying the label, the husband should ask: why did she go? Sulking is often a sign of a wound that has not been heard. The Sunnah approach is to coax her gently, invite her home, and resolve the cause. Ali and Fatimah r.a. once had a disagreement, and the Prophet ﷺ coaxed Ali with an affectionate jest, "get up, O Abu Turab" (Sahih al-Bukhari 6204). If it drags on, involve both families as arbiters (ḥakam). The determination of nushūz for the purposes of maintenance is made by the Syariah Court. See Ways to win hearts.
From the standpoint of fiqh, a wife who leaves the home without permission and without a valid Shariah reason may be counted as nushūz. But before applying the label, the husband should ask: why did she go? Sulking is often a sign of a wound that has not been heard. The Sunnah approach is to coax her gently, invite her home, and resolve the cause. Ali and Fatimah r.a. once had a disagreement, and the Prophet ﷺ coaxed Ali with an affectionate jest, "get up, O Abu Turab" (Sahih al-Bukhari 6204). If it drags on, involve both families as arbiters (ḥakam). The determination of nushūz for the purposes of maintenance is made by the Syariah Court. See Ways to win hearts.
Sources
Surah an-Nisa' 4:34Surah an-Nisa' 4:35Sahih al-Bukhari 6204 — the account of Abu Turab