⚖️ Polygyny: rulings & justice · #59

The husband is invited with his spouse to an official or company event. Which wife should go?

Use a fair method that is agreed, such as taking turns by event or following whose night it is; the Prophet ﷺ himself drew lots when only one wife could accompany him.
ʿAisha r.a. narrated that when the Prophet ﷺ intended to travel, he would draw lots among his wives, and whoever's lot came out went with him (Sahih al-Bukhari 2593). The principle can be applied to official functions, company dinners or wedding invitations. Practical options: the wife whose turn falls on the night of the event; taking turns down a list; or drawing lots for major events. If the host knows only one wife, discuss it honestly and make sure the other is not always left out. Avoid always taking the wife who is "more suitable" in others' eyes, as that can become the forbidden inclining (an-Nisa' 4:129). See the question on drawing lots for travel.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 2593Surah an-Nisa' 4:129Surah an-Nisa' 4:3

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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