🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #68
As a second wife, I am treated coldly or insulted by my husband's family. How should I cope?
Stay polite and patient, do not return insults, and ask your husband to play his part; protecting his wife's dignity is his responsibility.
Allah forbids mockery and offensive nicknames (al-Hujurat 49:11), and tells us to repel evil with good (Fussilat 41:34). Your husband's family may be disappointed with his decision or sympathise with the first wife; their attitude may change over time as they see your character. Steps: attend gatherings dressed and behaving modestly; help without drawing attention; do not speak badly of the first wife before them; and avoid social media that may look like showing off. Your husband should make clear to his family that his wives are to be respected equally. If the insults continue, limit contact for a while. See the question on being labelled a home-wrecker.
Allah forbids mockery and offensive nicknames (al-Hujurat 49:11), and tells us to repel evil with good (Fussilat 41:34). Your husband's family may be disappointed with his decision or sympathise with the first wife; their attitude may change over time as they see your character. Steps: attend gatherings dressed and behaving modestly; help without drawing attention; do not speak badly of the first wife before them; and avoid social media that may look like showing off. Your husband should make clear to his family that his wives are to be respected equally. If the insults continue, limit contact for a while. See the question on being labelled a home-wrecker.
Sources
Surah al-Hujurat 49:11Surah Fussilat 41:34Surah an-Nisa' 4:19