🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #65
My spouse's small habits have become more irritating over the years. How should I deal with this?
Distinguish between habits that need discussing and habits that need accepting, because no spouse is perfect.
Allah says: if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good (an-Nisa' 4:19). The Prophet ﷺ forbade a believing man to hate his wife because of one trait, for he will surely be pleased with another (Sahih Muslim, Kitab ar-Radha'); the principle applies to both spouses. Habits that affect health, finances or safety deserve serious discussion. Habits that are merely different — the way clothes are folded, noises while eating, a love of watching football — are better accepted or negotiated with humour. List your own habits that might irritate your spouse as well. See Emotional communication.
Allah says: if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good (an-Nisa' 4:19). The Prophet ﷺ forbade a believing man to hate his wife because of one trait, for he will surely be pleased with another (Sahih Muslim, Kitab ar-Radha'); the principle applies to both spouses. Habits that affect health, finances or safety deserve serious discussion. Habits that are merely different — the way clothes are folded, noises while eating, a love of watching football — are better accepted or negotiated with humour. List your own habits that might irritate your spouse as well. See Emotional communication.
Sources
Surah an-Nisa' 4:19Sahih Muslim, Kitab ar-Radha'Sahih al-Bukhari 6125