🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #5
What is a hakam in marriage?
A hakam is a conciliating representative — one from the husband's family and one from the wife's family — appointed when a dispute between husband and wife becomes serious.
This is based on an-Nisa' 4:35: "If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring about agreement between them." The arbiters' task is to hear both parties, find the root of the conflict and propose a way to reconcile. Arbiters should be knowledgeable, fair and trustworthy. In Malaysia, the Syariah Court may appoint arbiters under the state Enactment when the dispute persists (shiqaq), and the court sets their authority. Arbiters are used only after the couple's own efforts have failed — not as a first step. See Counselling and Nushuz & conflict.
This is based on an-Nisa' 4:35: "If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring about agreement between them." The arbiters' task is to hear both parties, find the root of the conflict and propose a way to reconcile. Arbiters should be knowledgeable, fair and trustworthy. In Malaysia, the Syariah Court may appoint arbiters under the state Enactment when the dispute persists (shiqaq), and the court sets their authority. Arbiters are used only after the couple's own efforts have failed — not as a first step. See Counselling and Nushuz & conflict.
Difference between schools. The Shafi'i school (authoritative view) and the Hanafi school see the arbiters (hakam) as representatives who need the spouses' permission to separate them; the Maliki school sees them as judges who can decide on separation.
Sources
Surah an-Nisa' 4:35State Islamic Family Law Enactment (hakam provisions)