Perlukah solat istikharah sebelum menerima pinangan? Bagaimana tahu jawapannya?

Disunatkan solat istikharah, dan jawapannya tidak semestinya melalui mimpi. Jabir r.a. meriwayatkan bahawa Nabi ﷺ mengajar sahabat beristikharah dalam semua urusan sebagaimana mengajar surah al-Quran. Caranya: solat dua rakaat sunat, kemudian membaca doa istikharah dengan menyebut urusan pinangan tersebut. Ulama menjelaskan bahawa selepas istikharah, seseorang meneruskan urusan yang dirasakan baik, dan Allah akan memudahkan jika ia baik, atau menjauhkannya jika tidak. Istikharah perlu digandingkan dengan istisyarah, iaitu bertanya pendapat orang yang dipercayai tentang agama dan akhlak peminang. Jangan bergantung semata-mata kepada perasaan atau mimpi sambil mengabaikan fakta yang jelas. Lihat doa & solat .

Q&A › Khitbah & engagement

💍 Khitbah & engagement · #16

Is the istikharah prayer needed before accepting a proposal? How do you know the answer?

The istikharah prayer is recommended, and the answer does not necessarily come through a dream.
Jabir r.a. narrated that the Prophet ﷺ taught the Companions to seek guidance (istikharah) in all matters as he taught them a surah of the Qur'an. The method: pray two voluntary rak'ahs, then recite the istikharah supplication, mentioning the matter of the proposal. Scholars explain that after istikharah, a person goes ahead with what seems good, and Allah will make it easy if it is good, or turn it away if not. Istikharah should be paired with istisyarah, that is, asking trusted people for their opinion of the suitor's religion and character. Do not rely solely on feelings or dreams while ignoring clear facts. See supplication & prayer.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 1166

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Related questions

Must parents obtain their daughter's consent before accepting a proposal?Yes, the daughter's consent is very important, and for a previously married woman it must be stated clearly. The Prophet ﷺ said: "A previously married woman is not married…How does one decline a proposal kindly without causing offence?Decline promptly, briefly, politely and through the same channel the proposal came by. Do not delay the answer too…May I look at the woman discreetly without her knowing?Yes, according to the Shafi'i school, and it even better protects the woman's feelings if the man ultimately does not go ahead with the proposal.…May one ask for a photo of the prospective wife? What if the photo is without a headscarf?A photo in clothing that covers the ʿawrah may be requested for the purpose of a proposal; a photo without a headscarf is not permitted. A photo that…May I decline a proposal from a man my parents chose?Yes; marriage requires your consent, and declining for a reasonable reason is not disobedience. The hadith of Khansa' binti Khid…When an engagement is broken off, must the ring and gifts be returned?Scholars differ; in Malaysia it also depends on who broke the promise and on the Syariah Court's decision…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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